Are you letting worry creep in? 3 tips to add to your superpowers!
I am seeing worry creep in around me and I am using all of my superpowers to ward it off. Are you seeing it, too? I'm seeing it in Facebook posts, conversations with friends, when I catch a news show, articles online... it seems to be the new virus (not that we are rid of the old virus) and, I believe, it is just as contagious.
What is worry? In psychology terms worry is a form of thinking about the future, defined as thinking about future events in a way that leaves you feeling anxious or apprehensive. Humans are super good at leaving their present moment to jump into the what if's of the future. In my world, worry isn't productive. It doesn't create solutions and it's a mood and time suck.
And here's the kicker: pretty much NOTHING I have EVER worried about happening happened. Think about that. I'm 50 years old and all of the times that I have got caught up in the worry of how things might be terrible (because, come on, that is what worry does) none of it has ever happened that way. That isn't to say that terrible moments haven't happened - they have, but the were not the things I was worried about. They were things that came when they came, hit me like a truck or just happened accidentally.
How do I deal with worry? Worry happens. But there are three antidotes to add to your superpower list: disruption, action and distraction.
Disruption: When I start to feel worry creeping in I disrupt it by breathing. Seriously. If I'm holding my breath I take a few conscious breaths. If I am breathing fast I slow it all down. If I am breathing slow I speed it up. Just a few conscious breaths can disrupt the thinking.
Action: I'm action oriented. And I absolutely believe that the way to combat worry is to get moving. If you are worried about a health problem make the call to the doctor or change the habit (I see me eating popcorn at 7:30 and then feeling like garbage). If you are worried about a work thing do the work thing, have the conversation, make the list, do whatever small action you can to get moving and shake out the worry. If you are worried about the upcoming election, volunteer to make calls, give to campaigns that matter to you, volunteer to become a poll worker, ask a local candidate or ballot initiative if they need help and get involved. Worried about a family member, friend or something that really isn't in your control, do something that is in your control. Clean the bathroom, take a walk, fold your laundry, or clean out your car. Doing something is better than spending any time worrying.
Distraction: Do something that makes you happy and distracts you. Yep. This is when I say watch the Netflix, read the book, listen to your favorite summer songs, bake cookies. Do something unrelated to the thing you are worrying about that gets you out of your own head.
What I DO NOT suggest you do to combat worry:
I DO NOT suggest calling a friend or family member and talking through the worry. Really. Repeating, dissecting, exaggerating, creating an even bigger story will make it worse.
I DO NOT suggest doom scrolling. You can find all of the terrible things you are worried about on the internet. You do not need to confirm your worries, real or imagined, with internet memes. Get off the internet.
I DO NOT suggest posting online about your fears/worries. Worry and fear are contagious like a California wild fire. We need to learn to real in that way of dealing with our worries. Yes. You will get the dopamine hit of someone agreeing with you and making you feel so smart that you thought it all out. But you are adding to the ick factor of life. You are creating a virus... and seriously, don't we have enough of those right now? Get your hands off the keyboard and do something, anything else, then spread your fear.
Here's the truth. We all have worries and they can be triggered by just about anything - real or imagined - it is our work to work through them, to not let them infect us or others. We are responsible for the energy, words, feelings we put out into the world and the habits you build around worry is a big part of that.
Remember, if you are having constant worries and they are overtaking your thinking you might want to talk to a therapist. It's a really common thing to have generalized anxiety and they can help you through it.
As always, let's #DoGoodWork
and I hope to see you over on Insta or LinkedIn!
xo - Jackie Wolven
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Why is this called "the Sunday Sermon"? I send it out on Sunday, but mostly it's my way of fulfilling my life long wish to be a Unitarian minister. That path didn't materialize for me and instead I share my mistakes, life journey through professional and personal development here with the hope of uplifting and spreading the gospel of #DoGoodWork around the world.