Two Yum's and a Yuck - Let's Build People Up Not Break Them Down
A few weeks ago the phrase "don't yuck my yum" really stood out to me. It's the idea that you don't need to be a Debbie Downer to what someone else likes. They like pickle and peanut butter sandwiches (I'm looking at my husband) and you think that is really pretty disgusting (I do)... you just don't say anything and you let them enjoy what they like. You don't yuck their yum.
It's a pretty simple concept. You are aren't the arbitrator of good things... you like what you like and... SHOCKER... other people like different things. And that is ok.
Here are a few ways that people use Yuck instead of Yum:
Social Media Yuck: Then I saw that a friend was really disappointed that someone took to social media to trash the company that they work for instead of trying to reach out in a more personal way to solve their issue. They were yucking on everyone's yum. And the trouble with this is that you could potentially be doing more harm than you know. It could effect someones job, the feelings that people have in trusting that company, etc... It's also grandstanding and acting as if your issue is the only issue that the company has to handle. Yes, it get's noticed on social media. People love to hate on things. Companies usually respond. You probably get your issue handled. But when it's all over how much yuck did you spread?
Work Yuck: Or what about when you are working with your team and you have an observation or correction to make. The team has been working really hard and they have jumped through a million hoops lately and they still have work to do. And you, in your quickness to just get something shared text that they still need to do X. You never say that they are rockin' it and that you are really excited about the work.... no you just mention the thing you see as missing. In other words, due to efficiency or just not thinking, you yuck their yum.
Life Yuck: What about with your partner or children? Are you just reminding them they have to take out the trash, do their laundry, pick up their crap or do you say thank you for bringing in the groceries, changing the lightbulb or making you laugh. Are you just yuck, yuck, yuck?
There's a better way!
Two Yum's and a Yuck: Think about the good first and share that. Find something positive to share. Then find something else. Then share the thing that needs attention. This formula makes hearing difficult things (and, trust me, every time you say that something falls short, needs attention, isn't good enough is hard to hear) so much easier. And it helps train yourself to look for the good. It's so easy in life and work to see the problems and that's important, but unless the stove is on fire or someone is drowning you can probably take the time to point out the good things first.
It's hard to differentiate what we are hearing from just facts to taking is personally. Even the simple things trigger in our hearts and minds that we have failed and have to be filtered through that to understand that it's just information. In fact, if you are receiving feedback or correction it's good to say to yourself that this is just information. It helps to train your own mind to remember that every action that needs to take place isn't a personal reflection on you. It's just the trash that needs to be taken out... you aren't a loser or bad person because you didn't notice it yourself. If you are telling someone that they forgot to take out the trash you can start by saying thanks for walking the dog and helping with the dishes first. Yum + Yum... then the Yuck.
So, here's this weeks experiment. When you have information, correction or feedback to give this week think of two good things to share before you launch into the laundry list of things that need to be done. Yum + Yum... then the Yuck. Find the yum's before you share the yuck. Then report back.
I'll be chatting about this on Wednesday live on Facebook and I'd love to hear your experiences with it. I want to hear about how you are using it with your teams, your partner, your kids, the customer service person... I'm super curious if we can change the way we share and receive information to build up people instead of breaking them down.
As always, let's #DoGoodWork
and I hope to see you over on Insta!
xo - Jackie Wolven
I've been consulting with small businesses in the last several weeks to use smarter more targeted advertising on social media and the results have been great. I teach you how to do it so you can have the power to generate your own ads and not have to rely on a long term marketing contract. Interested? Email me