Your Advice Needed: Three Sticky Situations in Nonprofits, Leadership + the Workplace
Dealing with the Sisterhood Ceiling, Lack of Respect and Communication Breakdown in Nonprofit Organizations, in Leadership and in Professional Settings - things are rough and we need your wisdom.
Quick fun thing, then let's jump in. I have followed Elizabeth Gilbert since she put Eat Love Pray into the world. She is doing a new project, "Letters from Love," today; I have a fun little feature in her latest post. Dreamy.
Now - I need your help with some STICKY situations!
I have questions, and I bet you have answers and advice! I just got back from speaking to 40 Main Street communities in Louisiana, and let me tell you that the folks in the Big Easy are making it happen in communities across the state. When I can facilitate meetings, retreats, and strategy sessions, I share what I have learned and trained in over the years. Still, I also learn much about the pulse of America, nonprofits, community engagement, leadership needs, and how to better humans. This meeting did not disappoint, and instead of me spouting what I know back at you, I want to hear your ideas on how to handle these situations and scenarios.
Let's dive in:
How do we break the Sisterhood Ceiling? Whoa. This is a big topic, but it came up so much in this particular training. First, what is the Sisterhood Ceiling? It is when women won't allow other women to achieve their professional dreams by actively blocking them from rising. It happens in big and small aggressions. It could be that older women infantilize younger women through words and tone. What was presented to me was an older woman telling a 30-something executive that they were a "little girl." Whew. But it can also be more subtle. It could be not supporting a professional woman's initiatives, doing the "we've tried that" track on any new idea, or not including other women in the team.
There are studies, Harvard classes, and articles about this phenomenon. It's basically that women are trained not to like other women and then quash their ability to succeed. It isn't always about age. It can be about scarcity: "In the workplace, if women perceive that leadership roles for women are scarce, they compete for these limited spaces (the perception and the ensuing competition are subconscious, in most cases.)" - TidalEquality
To be fair, I have had this same experience in varying degrees of awful for the entirety of my leadership career (since my 30s). It comes particularly hard because there is a feeling that women should support women, and when they don't, it feels like a scene out of Mean Girls that you thought ended when you were in High School.
Of course, we want older women to stop doing this, be inclusive and team-oriented, and help a sister rise, but if that isn't happening, what can we collectively do? What response can we have? How do we end this awful behavior?
How do we garner respect? I'm fond of thinking respect is a state of mind, and I tend to walk the planet like I have it, like the King is the King of England. Overinflated ego? Maybe? Or just a way of not wanting others to approve my self-evaluation. But there is a constant refrain that leaders and organizations (significantly with smaller, less well-funded organizations) do not have the respect of other leaders or organizations. What would your advice be to a leader who is challenged with feeling disrespected?
How do we improve communication? This one isn't about communication, and it is... let me explain. Everyone wants to be in the know. They want to be a valuable player and part of the solutions in their sphere. When I hear that there isn't good communication, I often think this goes back to the respect question above. So, how do we remain relevant might be the better question. Or how do we raise our value? Or how do we model better communication? Or how do we let it all go and focus on what we are doing and how we are doing it? What do YOU think is the main crux of "improve communication," and how might we do that?
Ok, those are three big topics, and I am really asking for your ideas about them. What worked for you might really help someone else navigate something difficult. So take a minute and tackle one of these (don't worry, I have more - a whole stack of sticky problems for you to help with)!
Fun things I've been up to: I'm painting a series called The Animal Queendom, and you can follow along on Instagram Stories, where I share that. I'm booked to speak at Main Street Now on Wildly Inclusive Messy Boards, and How to Create Them, and this week, I'm doing a goal-setting workshop with a real estate group in February. Planning a meeting or conference, or have a group that needs a facilitator or speaker? Let's talk. I'd love to come.